yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
