he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
