fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Randomize
