just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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