is your mom at the bar?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
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