She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
