Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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