I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
