My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
