Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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