For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
