im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
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no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
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Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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