So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
