I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
