Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
