he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
