So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
