Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
