I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
