At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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