if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the day after is always just damage control
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
