Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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