is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
