if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
