Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I need water and some morals
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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