If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize