rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
