That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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