I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
