just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Walk of Shame today included voting.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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