i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
