Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
