So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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