I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize