Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
