Buhtt sex?
i think i have two assholes
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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