My sheets look like a crime scene.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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