Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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