i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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