i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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