Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
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I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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