ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
