I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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