if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
