is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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