You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
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I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
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But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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