he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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