I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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