Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
