I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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