He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
