Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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