she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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