I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize
