Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
These Medical Professionals Recall the Worst Cases of Hypochondria They’ve Seen
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
He melted the stem
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours