My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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