the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
So squirting runs in the family.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Your topless pictures make me question reality
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Ladies don't puke and tell
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
