My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize