So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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