yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
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Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
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I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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