I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
